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A broken heart with a gaping hole

Father of divine transformations –

I’m waving the white flag, and I’m laying down my arms. I’m disabling my defense systems, and I’m letting down the drawbridge of my defeated heart. I surrender, Father.

I’m weary of holding up the facades … hiding behind the masks … and pretending that I am strong in hopes of deflecting the attention of others away from my wounded, insecure heart.

I’m collapsing at Your feet, Lord … not as one bearing expensive gifts and multiplied talents … but as a defeated soldier … a fallen star … a hunter caught in his own net.

I am naked … bare … and devastated. My kingdoms are destroyed … my high places are leveled. I come simply bringing a broken heart with a gaping hole … my perennial weakness. I am bankrupt of confidence … and ravaged by the lusts that vainly promise to fill the cavity and hide its ugliness … only to further the damage and intensify the pain.

Save me from the destruction of my soul and from the debilitating sin that controls me when I resist Your call and Your companionship. Forgive me, Father, and heal me. I need Your mercy. I need Your grace. I need Your Son to fill the Christ-shaped canyon in my heart. Complete me, Father, in Jesus.

Teach me to embrace my crumbled confidence so that in my weakness Your power may be perfected. Give me grace to resist the enticement of false confidence, and fill me with true confidence that flows only from You. As You convert me … as You make me new … create in me the attitude … the actions … and the words that will give courage to the wounded hearts I encounter each day. Through my weakness, please bless them with strength.

Father, please make my deepest weakness the source of my greatest ministry. I trust You with my complete transformation. I lift this prayer to You through Jesus. Please let these things be so. Amen.

~s

A little road trip for my soul

Take three vacation days … a road trip … a workshop in Oklahoma … Christ-like speakers sharing their faith … thousands of voices lifted in praise … smiles … hugs … handshakes … cold temperatures outside … a rekindled fire in my soul … rich encouragement to strengthen my relationship with Jesus … put it all together … and what do you get? A better Steve. Here’s just a little of what I learned.

» Salvation is about my becoming who I was created to be. Salvation is about my being transformed into the image of Christ.

» When I learn to listen, I will hear the culture all around me asking questions that the Gospel can answer.

» It’s not words that move the current culture. It’s images. I’ve got to give them the Jesus images. I’ve got to give them the Biblical images. I’ve got to give them the right images because they are living and dying from all the wrong images.

» The Man who died on the cross didn’t call me to live in safety. He called me to trust Him even when living for Him becomes dangerous.

» It’s a bigger mistake to treat wheat like weeds than to treat weeds like wheat. God will settle things in the end. In the meantime, treat everyone like wheat. Don’t assume that people who don’t reflect God’s glory aren’t interested in being wheat or in being in a relationship with Jesus. I don’t want God to look at me at the Judgment and say, “You pulled up My wheat.” (Matthew 13:24-30).

» When people are invisible or unimportant to me, I’m looking at the world … and at people … in the wrong way. Though both are important, it matters more how I treat those that I have power over than how I treat those who have power over me.

» Sometimes I am afraid to love the world the way God loves the world because I don’t want to get my heart broken … not understanding that out of my broken heart, God will raise up a new heart … a whole heart.

» I know Jesus wants the lost at church. The question is, do I?

» As a disciple of Jesus, I consume to live rather than living to consume.

» Experiences that people are increasingly coveting and needing are experiences of relationship. We have a whole economic system that is increasingly based on relationships. It’s all about the relationship. God didn’t send me more principles. He sent me a person. God didn’t send me a statement. He sent me a Savior. He didn’t send me more rules and regulations. He sent me a Redeemer who is Christ the Lord. I have exactly what this culture needs … what it is hungry for. I have been called to teach the Gospel in this culture at this time. Whether I like the culture or not is irrelevant.

» People aren’t the problem. Sin is.

~s

 

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